The aftermath of an enormous orgy at BBC Television Centre

Eamonn Holmes is twitching in a corner having been milked totally dry by George Alagiah’s Mechanical Wanking Spanner, George himself has suffocated after his head became lodged inside Fern Cotton’s spasming vag-pipe. Weatherman Rob McElwee failed to forecast the fatal consequences of rimming Dawn French while she’s standing on a wobbly milking stool in a pair of ludicrous stilletoes. Finally, David Tennant grins happily as he sits naked amongst the blood and entrails of the entire cast of Eastenders.