Dandy highwayman Adam Ant.

This week, his beleagured brain has lead him to a fish market and he has waved an antique musket at a stall holder threatening to blow his fucking brains out.

Fortunately, comedy bald man Ross Kemp is on hand to save the day by staring in a stern yet wooden manner at Adam. He does not, however, know that Ant and his unusual brainpan have an unholy love for bald men and the stench of fish. The combination is all too much and he goes for Kemp like a Pinscher for a child, pinning him down, tearing his denim clothing from his body and ramming bucket after bucket of rancid fish guts into his sore and swollen bellend.

Bella Emberg watches from a safe distance gently frigging herself with a live perch.